The Secret of Ella and Micha Chapter 10

EllaI fanny remember the first railcartridge clip I essentialed to kiss Micha as clearly as the day I found my m different dead. Both times were equally as terrifying, hardly in two different dashs.Micha and I had been academic term on the hood of his machine at our secret love tucked remote in the trees, sta peal bulge at the lake. It was harder than hell to get patronage to the spot, b arely the view and serenity made it worth it.It had been quiet between the two of us for a while, which was principle except for the jealousy stirring inside me over Michas latest hook up, Cassandra. Id never felt this instruction before and it puzzled me. It wasnt corresponding the girl was anything special to Micha, but hed told Ethan that she had the potential to be girlfriend corporeal and it was bugging me.Michas arms were tucked under his intellect and his eyes were shut as the sunlight beamed down on him. His shirt had ridden up and I could see his tattoo peeking out. As I s t bed at it the urge to bombardment my fingers a massive it drove me crazy.I dont kindred Cassandra, I abruptly s establishtered out, codting up quickly.Michas eyebrows knitted as his eyes gradually opened against the sunlight. Huh?That Cassandra girl you were talking approximately the other day, I said, staring out at the water rippling in the gentle breeze. I dont teleph ace you should date her.He travel up on his elbows. Because you dont like her?No I tucked strands of my auburn h nervous strain out of my eyes. I just dont insufficiency you to date her.The wind filled the silence. Micha sat up and wrapped an arm roughly my shoulder.Okay, I wont, he said as if it was as simple as existing.I pressed endorse a smile, not fully understanding why the hell I was so happy. Micha lay posterior down and drew me with him. I consisted my decimal point on his chest and listened to his heart beating, steady as a rock, unlike mine which was dancing inside my chest.The longer I sta yed in his arms, the more than core I became. I felt safe, like nothing could hurt me, but I was in realised denial that I was starting to fall in love with my best friend.***Its been a week since the car racing incident and Ive been hiding out in my bedroom living on mac n quit and Diet Dr. Pepper. Dean allay hasnt headed home, but Lila did the morning after the race. She urgencyed to stay, but I didnt want her to and I think her dad wasnt too keen on the idea either.Its been kind of lonely, though.I still kick innt listened to Michas voicemail, and the constant injecting on the screen torments me. I decide to state a break from the reside today and do something Ive been meaning to do for a while. I want to sketch my mothers grave because I wont always be close enough to visit it. Its been bothering me the entire eight months that Ive been gone. I feel hangdog because it was me who put her there and then I just left her.I collect my sketch throw and pencils from the dra wer of my night stand, slip on my shoes and sunglasses, and head out the front approach where Im little likely to run into Micha. Its a warm day and the blue sky glitters with sunshine. I walk up the sidewalk toward scarlet Hill and decide to make a last minute stop at Gradys.I knock on the trailer door and Amy, the nurse, answers it wearing blue scrubs. Oh, hi Ella, I dont think Gradys up for any visitors today, sweetie. exclusively he told me to stop by, I say stupidly. I deal its a little later than I told him and Im sorry.Hes not mad at you, Ella, she says kindly. Ive just got him hooked up on oxygen and hes got a cough.I shield my eyes from the sun and st atomic number 18 up at her. Is he authorise?She sighs, leaning against the doorframe. Hes just having a rough day today, but try back in a few days, okay hun.I nod and back down the steps as she shuts the door. I stare helplessly at the back window which leads to Gradys room. Hes sick and theres nothing I can do. I have n o control over this. Micha was recompense. I cant control allthing.As horrid images of my moms death flash with my head, I run into the field and throw up.***The towns cemetery is located up on Cherry Hill, which on foot is quite a hike, but I enjoy the break from the reality of life. thither is no one up there there hardly ever is. I push through the gate and situate by a tree right in front of my moms headstone. Its a tiny cemetery bordered by trees and the grass is covered with dry leaves.As I sketch the lines of the close in and the vines that coil it, I angle downward and draw the curve of her tombstone. I become lost in the playactments, adding wings to the side of it, because she was always so fascinated with flying.A few weeks before her death, my mother begged me to go on a walk with her. I gave in even though I had plans that day. It was sunny and the air smelled like cut grass. It felt like nothing could go wrong.She wanted to go to the bridge so we walked all the way across town to the lake. When we arrived there, she climbed on the railing and spread her hands out to equaliser as her long auburn fuzz flapped in the wind.Mom, what are you doing? I said, reaching for the back of her shirt to pull her down.She sidestepped down the railing out of my reach and stared at the water below. Ella May, I think I can fly.Mom, stop it and get down, I said, not taking her very seriously at first.But when she turned her head and seeked at me, I could see in her eyes that she wasnt joking. She really believed she could fly.I assay to stay as composed as possible. Mom, please get down. Youre scaring me.She shook her head and her legs wobbled a little. Its okay honey. Ill be fine. I can feel it in my bole that I can fly.I took a cautious step toward her and my foot bumped the curb of the bridge. The cement rubbed my toe raw and I could feel crinkle oozing out, but I didnt look down at it. I was too afraid to take my eyes off her. Mom, you cant fly. Pe ople cant fly. past maybe Im a bird, she said seriously. Maybe I have wings and feathers and they can carry me past and I can become one with the wind.Youre not a bird I shouted and reached for her again, but she hopped onto one of the beams and laughed like it was a game. I tugged my fingers through my hair and steadied onto the railing. It was a far fall, one that would crush our bodies on impact, even in the water. I prepare my hands on the beams in a higher place my head. Mom, if you love me at all, youll get down.She shook her head. No, Im liberation to fly today.A truck rolled up and stopped on the middle of the bridge as I progress toward her. Ethan jumped out and didnt so much as flinch at the scenario. Hey, Mrs. Daniels. Hows it going?I gaped at him and hissed, What are you doing?He ignored me. You know its not really safe out there.My mom angled her head to the side. I think Ill be okay. My wings will carry me remote.I was mortified, but Ethan didnt miss a beat. He rested his arms on the railing. As much as that could be true, what if its not? Then what? I mean is it really worth the risk?I glanced back at my mom and she looked like she was weighing the options. She stared at the threatening water below her feet and then at the bright sky above her head. Maybe I should think about it for a little bit.Ethan nodded. I think thats probably a good idea.She made a path across the beam and planted her feet on the railing. Ethan helped her down and we got her into the backseat of his truck. She throw away asleep within minutes and I slumped my head back against the chair.How did you do that? I makeed quietly.One of my friends was lilting out of their mind one night and I had to talk him out of jumping off the roof, he explained. It was all about making her realize that there was more than one scenario.I nodded and we stayed quiet for the rest of the drive to my base. Ethan never brought it up to me, nor did he treat me differently and I was gra teful for it.After a doctors visit, it was determined that my mother had started to suffer from Delusions of Grandeur, which happens sometimes in bipolar patients.I in conclusion pull away from the drawing when its nearly dark. I gather my sketchpad and pencils and head down the hill. In front of the arch weigh entryway is Micha, sitting on the hood of his moms car, wearing jeans, and a erosive and red plaid shirt. His head is tipped down and wisps of his blonde hair cover his forehead as he messes around with his phone.I stop a little ways off from him. What are you doing here?His eyes lift from his phone. Im waiting for you.How did you know I was here?I saw you leave with your sketchpad and head this way, so I came up to check on you.I take a tentative step forward. How long have you been sitting here?He slides off the hood and puts his phone away. For a while, but I didnt want to rival you. You looked too peaceful.I press my lips together and stare at him, craving to sketch him like I used to. He would sit on my bed and it was like he owned my hand. Look, about the other night, I think He strides across the grass toward me, moving so impulsively that theres no time to react as his finger covers my lips. Just let it be for a while, okay?Uncertain of his require meaning, I nod anyway.He lets his finger fall from my lips, trailing a line down my chest, finally pulling away at the bottom of my stomach. You want a ride home? His voice comes out ragged.I glance at the grey sky and the birds flying across it. That would be nice. Thank you.MichaShes thoughtless during the drive and so am I. I was so pissed off about my father that I got into the car about to do something reckless, however, then I saw Ella wandering down the street, and I followed her. The way she walked was very entertaining, her auburn hair blowing in the wind, and the way she swayed her ass in the short denim short she was wearing. It tranquiled me down watching her sit up on the hill a nd draw, but I cant stop cerebration about the phone conversation.We should go somewhere, I announce when we drive onto the main road.Ella jolts in her seat and turns away from the window. I should probably go home. go on. I pout, hoping itll win her over. Just come with me somewhere and we can relax.Shes tempted. Where exactly?I turn the volume of the stereo down and let my arm rest on the top of the steering wheel. To our spot by the lake.But it takes forever to get there. Her eyes rise to the dark sky. And its getting late.Since when have you been afraid of the dark?Its not the dark Im afraid of.I sigh and downshift. Come on, just you and me. We dont even have to talk. We can just sit in silence.Fine, she surrenders, tossing her sketchpad into the backseat. Just as long as you dont ask me questions.I hold up my hand innocently. Scouts honor. Ill keep my questions to myself.Her eyes narrow. I know youve never been in the scouts before.I laugh, feeling the pressure lift from my ch est. It doesnt matter. Ill keep my questions to myself, but with everything else, all bets are off.She pretends to have an itch on her nose, but really its to obscure her smile and it makes me smile myself.***Its pitch black by the time we reach our spot on the shore thats secluded by tall trees. The laze reflects against the water and the night air is a little chilly. I get my jacket out of the physical structure and offer it to Ella, knowing shes cold because of the goosebumps on her arms and the way her tittys are poking through her shirt.She slips the jacket on and zips it up, covering up her perky nipples. I sigh, hop onto the hood, and open my arms for her to join me. Hesitantly, she climbs onto the hood, but stays at the front, with her feet propped up on the bumper, gazing out at the water.I scoot down by her and keep my knees up, resting my elbows on them. What are you thinking about?Her eyes are huge in the moonlight. Death.What about death? I wonder if were finally go ing to go back to that night.That Gradys going to die, she whispers softly. And theres nothing I can do about it.I brush her hair back from her forehead. You need to stop worrying about everything that cant be controlled.She sighs and leans away from my hand. Thats just it, though. Its all I can think about anymore. Its like this fixation I have no control over which makes no sense because Im fixated on irresponsible the uncontrollable. Shes tiping wildly.Shit. I need to calm her down.Hey, come here. I loop my arms around her waist and lie her down on the windshield with me. She rests her head on my chest and I play with her hair, breathing in her vanilla scent. Do you remember when you decided that it would be a good idea if you climbed up the scaffolding in the gym?I wanted to prove to Gary Bennitt that I was as tough as the boys. She buries her face into my shirt, ashamed. Why do you remember everything?How could I forget that? You scared the hell out of me when you fell. Yet , somehow you managed to land on the board just below it.I thought I was going to die, she murmurs. I was so stupid.You werent stupid, you just saw life at a different angle, I say. Ive always envied you for it. comparable when you used to dance in a room where no one was dancing or how you stuck up for people. But there was always that wall you put up. You would never let anyone completely through.Shes soundless for a while and I expect for her to push me away. But she sits up and hovers over me, her hair veiling our faces. Her breath is ragged, like shes terrified out of her mind.I opened up to you once, she whispers. When we were here in this spot doing this same thing.I cant take my eyes off her lips. Im not sure what youre talking about.She licks her lips. I told you I didnt want you dating Cassandra.Cassandra Oh, was that what that was about? I start to laugh.Whats so funny? she asks, but I cant stop laughing. She pinches my nipple and I jerk upward, smacking my forehead ag ainst hers. Ow. She blinks, rubbing her forehead and a laugh escapes her lips. Tell me whats so funny.She looks beautiful, trying to be pissed, when deep down shes relishing the moment. Im enjoying myself, which I didnt envisage tonight, but if anyone can enliven me up, its her. Like when my dad left and she caught me in the garage, clutching onto his tool box crying like a baby. She gave me her shekels and then just sat there with me until I ran out of tears.I eye her over and she fusses with her hair self-consciously. With one quick movement, I flip us over so my body is covering hers. When I told Ethan about that day when you told me not to see Cassandra, he told me you had a thing for me. Hes usually not right about those things.I didnt have a thing for you, she argues. I just didnt want anyone else to have a thing for you.Youre adorable when you deny the truth. You always have been.Micha, I used to have studs on every item of clothing I owned and enough black eyeliner to make an entire sketch. Thats not adorable.It is on you. I wink at her.She shakes her head and pokes a finger at my chest. Dont try and use your actor moves on me.We remain silent, frozen in the moment, until I finally speak again. I have an idea. wonder slowly takes over her face as I shift over her body. My arms are at the side of her head, barely holding my weight up. My face hovers above hers, our lips only an inch apart, and she lies perfectly still. I want to kiss you.She shakes her head promptly. I dont think thats a good idea.I trace one of my fingers over her lips. Ive been going about this all wrong. I cant force myself on her. I have to move slow and think of her as a skittish cat that needs to be approached cautiously.Just kiss. I swear to God thats all well do. I move my finger away from her lips. And kissings not that scary, right?With you it is, she says truthfully.If you want me not to, just say it. Taking my time, I leisurely lower my lips toward hers.She stays station ary, her big verdure eyes targeted on my mouth. Slowly, so she has time to let her thoughts slow down, I caress my lips across hers. A small gasp flees from her lips and I slip my tongue into her mouth. Her hands glide up my back and into my hair. My body conforms to hers as I explore her mouth with my tongue. She chips down on my bottom lip, sucking my lip ring into her mouth before releasing it.Fuck. Shes making this hard. I intensify the kiss as my body becomes more impatient, but I keep my promise and only kiss her, even when she fastens her legs around my waist and rubs up against me.EllaHe said just kiss and it seemed okay, but now my body has developed a mind of its own. Im writhing my hips against him enjoying the pleasure erupting inside me. Hes hard between my legs as he kisses me so fiercely that my lips are swollen. His fingers tangle in my hair and his tongue plunges deeper and deeper into my mouth the more I rock against him. My head waterfall back and my eyes open t o the stars shining in the sky. It feels like Im falling or flying Im not sure, but whatever it is I cant seem to control it. For a second, I want to capture the moment, put it in a jar, and always have it with me, but panic seizes my mind and I jerk away from his lips.His eyes snap open and his pupils are vast. Whats wrong?Nothing Its just I have to calm down. I take a deep breath, my skin still tingling in the spots his hands touched.Micha nods, breathless. Carefully, he moves off of me and leans back against the window, securing his hand around mine. We dont speak as we stare up at the sky. He traces his finger along the folds between my fingers and my eyelids drift shut. I feel a wall crumble, release scum bag dust, debris, and pieces that desperately need to be put back together.***Are you okay? I ask Micha when we pull into my course. Hes been quiet the whole drive home and I can tell somethings bothering him.Yeah, Im fine, he says with a shrug and then his gaze darts to th e back window as headlights shine up behind us. Although, you might not be.My eyebrows furrow. Why? Whats wrong?He points a finger at a car parking at the curb in front of my house a shiny black Mercedes with a familiar blonde-haired driver sitting in it.Oh my God, is that Lilas car? I ask.Im guessing yes, since I doubt anyone around here owns a Mercedes.Lila climbs out of the car and its clear that shes been crying. Her eyes are swollen and her cheeks are red. She has her pajama bottoms on and a hoodie pulled over her head. The last time she walked around in an outfit like that shed just humiliated up with her boyfriend.I think she might have some issues at home, I tell him, grabbing the door handle. She acted like she didnt want to go home.But you didnt ask her about it? he questions with an arch of his eyebrow.I bite my lip guiltily. I wasnt sure I wanted to know the answer. God, Im a terrible friend.Lila heads up the driveway and we get out to meet her around the back. Before I can say anything, she hugs me and starts to sob. I tense, not used to being hugged, except by Micha.I didnt want to go back there, she cries. I knew this was going to happen.I look over Lilas head at Micha for help. Itll be okay.He gives me a sympathetic look and mouths, take her inside.I nod and he waves at me, getting back into his car. I guide Lila into the house holding her weight up for her like shes ill. When I get her into my room, she curls up on my bed and hugs a pillow.I wait a minute before I speak. Do you want to talk about it?She shakes her head. I just want to go to sleep.Alright. I turn off the light and collapse onto the trundle. I need to get into my pajamas, but its been an exhausting day.My dad hates me, Lila whispers through sobs.I freeze and then sit up, squinting at her through the dark. Im sure he doesnt hate you.Yes, he does, she says. He always says so that he wished he had sons instead of daughters because theyre easier to deal with.Are you going to be ok ay? I ask, unsure what else to say.I will be. Itll just take some time.Was that the magical cure? Time. I flop back down and fall asleep to the murmur of her sobs.